Today’s Definition of Evil

My dad said last Monday evening that the reason why the Philippines does not experience terrible disasters like what happened in Japan is because “Malakas daw tayo kay Lord.” [We are Lord’s favorite.]

How to be an ASSHOLE after a Natural Disaster

This guide applies to theists who are unaffected by a recent and devastating natural disaster and can’t be bothered with empathy. Insert appropriate nouns for DISASTER, VICTIMS, DEITY, ADVOCACY, RANDOM REASON.

1. Thank deities that you and your family were spared. Make sure to emphasize how special and blessed your ass is unlike those poor sods the deities didn’t favor. Forget the other instances when you were affected by natural disasters.

Examples:

“Thank DEITY our country was spared unlike VICTIMS who are suffering.”